I don’t know about you but I have to admit, I always have my hand hovering over a fuck it button, subconsciously nearly every single day. I have said fuck it to not going to the gym on numerous occasions. Pressing that button thousands of times when it comes to picking up a cigarette. Fuck it, to getting way too drunk, I have ended up having said or done things that I have regretted the next day. Getting with blokes that I knew I shouldn’t go near, pressing that big shiny red button (in my head it’s a big, massive red button with Fuck it in big black capital letters).
There are too many situations where I just said “fuck it, what is the worst thing that could happen”. The thing is though- is that most of the time I wake up saying “damn it, why did I do that” or “I have to go back to square one and start all over again”. Many times I have sat there, mulling over why I done it in the first place? Where is my willpower? God I am such a twat!
I always have an excuse as to why I have done a certain thing or have a funny story to tell, but I always end up most of the time repeating the same mistake again. I’m not saying that we can’t make mistakes or press the fuck it button once in a while, I just feel that I have pressed that button one too many times.
The fuck it button is definitely one of the barriers I use, so that I can get out of doing certain things. Especially when it comes to further education.
For years I have been on the fence about doing further education, (see I didn’t go to university, a story for another time). I began doing a maths course around three years ago. At first it wasn’t too bad but then they put me into a higher tier and well maths isn’t a subject I enjoy (come on who really enjoys maths?). Soon afterwards, I made up the excuse that I have a full time job so I wouldn't be able to carry on attending. I left it for a while and decided to try again last year, but then yet again, I pressed that button and blamed it on my shift patterns.
This year I actually researched about doing a course with the open university. I made the call and researched everything. I am still thinking of pressing that button before I have even started. The fact is pressing that button, is a lot easier to do than putting the hard work in. Like everything else, you have to work hard to achieve what you want out of life. I’m lazy plus more than likely, I am feeling apprehensive about going back into education. The fuck it button shouldn’t stand in the way of me achieving in life.
There should be another alternate button that I should be pressing. A button which is positive, plus not giving me excuses to give up when things get a bit tough. Don’t get me wrong, there are many things that I need to work on when it comes to saying “fuck it” (budgeting is certainly one). What I can say is that I am very aware, of what I intend to do when it comes to hard decisions. I am going to try my hardest not to press the fuck it button, as much as I normally do.